i had to bid you farewell...

I came to see you at your grave on Saturday, September 4.

I spoke to you but you didn't answer, I hope you heard me.

You no longer have eyes to see me, ears to hear me, arms to hold me, hands to touch me, feet to walk with me and a heart to love me but I know you still have a soul and that soul still burns and it still breathes.

Because I stood at your grave and I felt you..

You towered over me as I told you that I've missed you.  Its almost a year since you left me but each day never forgets to remind me that you will never return.

I’ve learnt to smile again but not to love again.

I’m learning to be alone but its lonely.. sometimes I wish I had a brain tumor just so as I can hallucinate and imagine you still there, still have long chats with you, still laugh with you..

I’ve had to embrace the maturity that came with dealing with your death.. I’ve had to change.

I sat at your grave and I had no words except I love you… you will never cease to be a part of me.

I had to come bid you farewell because I cant keep living, hoping that you’ll reappear.  I need to break away from you so I can stand on my own again.  Open my eyes to another world of companionship, the possibility of marriage and maybe even children.. I need to find in someone else what I couldn’t fulfill with you.

I kneeled at your grave and I prayed for your soul.. I hope you’re well looked after wherever you are.

I came to your grave to say goodbye.. for the very last time.