i think when you truly care about someone, you never stop. sometimes you might try and pretend like you dont because it hurts too much to know that the other doesnt care about you at all. but in the end, youll always still care.

Never let a man

Never let a man mess with your emotions. He can't have that kind of power..

..warsan shire... how I love you.

i don’t believe in half living or half loving, which, for me, are one in the same. i think there must be a way to love with your entire self but also not be completely stunned by the possibility of being destroyed. you’ll get hurt, you will be betrayed, by something, someone, you may even betray yourself, but when you start over, when you love again, love like you’ve never been hurt before. (i know it’s hard and easy for me to say) loving without expectation or condition allows you to understand the temporal nature of everything. i’m still learning how to live in the moment, how to love in the moment. all our moments strung together create a life time.


http://warsanshire.tumblr.com/

Money does not give you the right to treat me like I'm nothing..

Relationships are hard work. And life tends to be hard too. When both are not working out for you then you're pretty much screwed.

No man's an island. We all walk in and out of relationships with a timeline unique experiences. But it's the life changing ministries that allow us to tell similar stories.

I've been in a few relationships in my lifetime. Most of them meant nothing. Only 3 have made an impact. The first lasted 2 and a half years but I was too young and he went through a radical life change. The second ended in a death. The third has given birth to a miracle, my daughter.

Each has come loaded with life lessons and an opportunity to continuously reflect on self. Each I've prayed over. And in each I've learnt to not lose myself, my essence.

But here I find myself lost not knowing who I am. I find myself desperately wanting to fit into his fantastical world. Determined to change who I am so as he is happy. I find myself worshipping him. Fearful that he may leave and my baby girl will be left to live with scars of a broken home. That she would go to school and meet friends and she wouldn't have a happy story to tell about her mommy and daddy.
I give so much of myself. My entire being. And yet that's not enough.

I feel my heart beating in my ears as I write this. I have scars, I have insecurities and I have flaws.  I seek to be loved in spite of these. For him to look beyond these and embrace me.

When material things and money come into a relationship is as good as the devil coming in to make a home. Money creates pockets of complexities that are never really resolvable. It sizes us up and if you have none, then you're nothing. That sounds extremely unhealthy but it's my sad reality. Money gives a person a sense of power. So now you think you can rearrange me to suit your idea of a perfect world? Trust me I find myself subscribing to that.

Its not often this sombre. I do experience moments of electrifying happiness and I savour each millisecond of that. The energy we give off to each other is amazing and explosive.

We're individuals and that is very apparent. We're polar opposites and this often throws us off track.
Its a kind of love that is nauseating, destructive, pompous and arrogant. But it also saturates, mends, solidifies and draws souls to each other.
Yet in it, I need to learn to breathe. To be myself. And to put my happiness as well as my daughter's first..

Love hurts all the time but loving love is one of life's best wonders.

I soldier on.

Love & light xx
T

The joy of blogging...

I believe I have been blogging for a bit over two years now and have found it to be a wonderful way to share my life, my thoughts, and my creativity with you.


I've been away for a long while but I'm back for good.. I promise. 


These pages continue to be the projection of my inner monologue. Yes, I do (speak to myself)


Love & light xx
T

I'm still around..

The year's well into its second month and because of blogspot's technical glitches I haven't been able to post in eons!  I'm back though, filled with stories to share.  I've been itching to bestow my East African explorations.. LOL! Well, I will soon.

The year's been different, its been kind, its been somewhat more gentle but still teaches me how to live.  A load of more experiences, I'm excited.

Everything is new... and most importantly, love has found me again and I thank the Almighty for that.

I'll be back in a bit xoxo