day 125...

When you do things from your soul, you feel a river moving in you, a joy. # Rumi

Now be silent. Let the One who creates words speak. He made the door, He made the lock, He also made the key #Rumi

Abandon this world, so that you may become king of all worlds. Throw away your handful of sugar, so that you may become the sugar field.

Open to me, so that I may open. Provide me with your inspiration. So that I may see mine.

Love flows down. The ground submits to the sky, and suffers what comes...

-Rumi quotes-

Day 124.. do you...

Practice equanimity of mind; your life's vital force is your breath; the calmer your breathing, the stiller your mind... be still.
-Secret Diary-

#FACT out of the many liquids in the world, only tears can explain the real meaning of pain.

These are just some of the words I found on twitter and it was love at first sight.

My love affair with words keeps me sane, keeps me at peace, keeps me with me and keeps me alive.

T*

Day 113...just a really bad day.

Call it hormones, call it frustration, call it inadequacies, call it stress, call it whatever hell you want but its damn annoying... It started off with nausea and then it was downhill from there.

 I gathered my stuff and made my way to school to hand my assignment in on time... i was excited but the nausea was still there. So I went to work. And it didn't get better but only plunged into murkiness and now I feel worthless.

It could be one of those days, and yet it could not be. It could be loneliness, it could be sadness, it could be depression, it could be looming death...and yet if it could be one of those days, then I hate these sort of days. If its depression, then it has to stop being cryptic and let me move through it.

I hide away from the world, I keep myself in my books, in my laptop, in my work and I fear. Closed up within a box of self-pity and difficulty. I hate this... More now that I'm admitting it to myself. I have all sorts of shit building up inside and I'm almost certain that as much as I think I'm dealing with it, maybe I'm really not.

And then in the end it kills me...slowly...with poison...with love...with insanity. Maybe I'm lost or maybe im imagining this. Maybe I should walk away from today and hope that tomorrow will bring smiles with sun, joy with the stars and comfort with the skies.

 I need to speak God...because He's the only one that truly understands.

 This life is heavy but I have to live through it.. no matter what.

 This time, I'm not going to cry - I'll be ok..

 T*

Day 102...

Last night was good, it was a breath of difference, of refreshment, of open-mindedness, of warmth, of conversation and of laughter...

I admit that it was goodness that I haven't felt in a little while and maybe goodness that I've never felt before. So life reached out and shook me out of the coma that I thought was me. However that-self has been sadly walking towards unknown territories and blinding pleasures.

Once unable to decipher my own writing, the manual, God's script, I now know what has been written about me. 

I am now ready to embrace that which I am and last night... made it all easier for me.

Life begins again, with new trials, new challenges, new roads, new destinations, new pains and indeed I have to face them.

But I'm glad... glad that I had to compare myself to the superficiality of this world... to see who I am. I look into the mirror... and thank God because I absolutely love what I see..

Last night was good... and I think it was necessary.

So yeah, everything does happen for a reason.