Day 7 - Mastercleanse - 14/9/10

I'm weak... I made today the last day of the cleanse.  With good reason, was my dad's birthday and I had to join in the festivities with the rest of the family.

The morning was not good at all, I felt very ill and my hands had started peeling, clear signs of deprivation.    So I decided to end the fast and feed myself :-)

I think a week was sufficient for a beginner, I'll detox again in about 3 months or so.  I will however decided to work-out in the mornings and will continue drinking the lemonade because the cayenne pepper has performed miracles in my body.

So my dad turned 56 today, I'm grateful that he's around, some people dont have the privilege of growing up in the presence of a father.  We have never had a close relationship but there's been some form of relationship nonetheless.  I wish him life in abundance.

Lastly, I almost fell into the trap of entrusting my heart into the hands of another man, thank God I was saved in time.  I had to kick him to the curb, was not easy because I had become very fond of him.  It's ok, I've dealt with bigger problems, I'll get over it - I'm a big girl now.

The journey did not end here though... the meditation continues as I entrench myself into the life that's within me at the same time I cultivate my soul.

Life has indeed changed and I have too changed, grown and matured..

Thank You God..

T*

Day 6 - Mastercleanse - 13/9/10

I resisted Chicken Licken hot wings today.. was not cool let me tell you.
But once again my will power was tested and I was fine..

I had the measurements right today because the lemonade tasted better.  Really liking it now, and I think my body has gotten used to it.

Anyway, so I had to eat something because I felt like I was going to faint... seriously.  So I had an avo with greek salad - tasted divine - I never thought once that I would call "rabbit" food divine.

The wonderful thing about this cleanse is that it teaches me to appreciate a healthy lifestyle, think once i'm done I'll find it easier to adapt to healthy eating.  With a few bites of McD's or Chicken Licken here and there but not dwell on junk.

The effectiveness of the laxative tea seems to last longer than overnight, I make more trips to the loo than i did before.  Dont know why theres a delay.

Besides the little weight loss, I also feel a massive difference in my sinus area.  Doesn't feel as congested as it usually is - so the cleanse is sorting my body out.

It's really going well, I thought I'd struggle but its not so bad.  I obviously tweaked it a little so I can have veggies and fruits now and then but its essential because I dont think I'd still be up on my feet on the 6th day.

I feel healthier, lighter and slightly cleansed... im not there yet.


T*

Day 5 - Mastercleanse

The night has come and yet another day has passed..

Today was really tough because I had to skip Sunday lunch L .. not cool at all

And my mixture was badly watered down, not sure if I got the measurements wrong or because I used different containers.   Anyway so I gulped it down as quickly as I could – I’ll have to double check on my measurements tomorrow.

I made a strawberry and banana smoothie with coconut milk, which I think I’ll just have tomorrow.

I cheated a bit today though, nibbled on a biscuit and a tiny piece of meat.. felt guilty but knew that the tea would sort me out later.

I don’t know how I cant get through 10 days without eating a single thing! Oh lawdy!

Anyway so I had a few strawberries, which tasted really good.

Think I’m going to buy gum or tictacs just get rid of the hunger breath! Eeeeuuwww!

Some days I hate this and other days im cool with it.

So I’m about to head to bed, I didn’t have my chai rooibos tea today but I’ll have a cup of Blackforest then wait for the early morning alarm – trip to the loo.

Loves it!

T*

Day 4 - Mastercleanse - 11/9/10

Ok I’ve decided to not think about the fast but to let it become a part of my routine.

By not thinking too hard about it then the process isn’t made hard.

The sea salt wash in the morning is getting unbearable to stomach though, especially when I have to fill up an extremely empty stomach.  But it has to be done.

The toilet has indeed become my toilet, I wake up to it and spend the rest of my day in it – understandably, considering that I spend the entire day drinking a liquid and I drink a laxative tea every night. But like I said – it’s part of routine.

I had no crazy cravings today but I just wanted to be home all day.  So I went out in the morning and did a few things and I was back home in no time.

I became engaged with my books, which I think is a good distraction.  I did, however, have an avocado, I needed to, the previous day was a day of stark starvation.

Lol. Its funny how I keep referring to losing weight and starvation as though these were the reasons that pushed me into starting this cleanse, I guess hovering somewhere in my consciousness, it is partly for that, to lose a bit of weight.

I don’t have issues with my weight, but as soon as I start bulging then I get really angst and apprehensive.

So the avo tasted good, I did feel a little sick after I had it, but it was good nonetheless – had no funny reactions from my stomach though.

Its ok, because whatever I consume for now, passes right through, that laxative tea before bed is no joke.

T*

Day 3 - Mastercleanse 10/9/10

I had absolutely no food today…

Hunger did not overpower me, I overpowered it.  This is the strength of will power.

Yes, I’m detoxifying my body but I’m also revitalizing my mind and soul. 

I find it less and less easier to resist food and I don’t give into cravings.  I was craving McDs and I had to ignore the temptation.  At this time, I would’ve driven to a drive thru and left with a bag full of junk.  So I guess its good, I’m not depriving myself, just choosing what is right to consume.

I thought I would feel dizzy and get headaches but I don’t. instead I have a surprising amount of energy that I think I’m getting from my body being rid of all sorts of shit.

So I drank my lemonade mixture all day and I went home and slept.  My body should be thanking me for taking care of it like this, cleaning up and rest..

Anyway, I woke up to the smell of roasted chicken and chips… dammit! My dad had bought dinner – my will power kicked in immediately, had to remain focused.

I didn’t have a single bite of that food.  I retreated into myself instead..

My taste buds have become accustomed to the state of the lemonade mixture and it makes the fasting so much easier.

Master cleansing… its not an easy thing… I don’t know how people do it for 40 days

Strength!

T*

Day 2 - Mastercleanse - 9/9/2010

Dammit I cant weigh myself because the bathroom scale is broken!

I feel so light already, havent had food in a day feels like its been years, the cravings arent too bad though.
My bowels are working overtime and they wake me up at odd hours of the morning. I cant say i feel a difference in my body yet.

I've been gulping down the lemonade mixture and it supresses cravings somehow.  I realized though that if i dont at least eat something, before I disappear into nothingness and also dont want make my body think that im starving it, I'm really just getting shit out of my body.

So I've decided to eat 1 fruit or 1 vegetable each day with the mixture, preferably food with roughage. I could be cheating but my primary reason for doing this thing is not to lose weight but to cleanse the body - regardless of what i said in the first two lines.

Its not easy, I wont lie.. but it feels good.

was a better today, no headaches or funny things..

T*

Day 1 - Mastercleanse - 8/9/2010

I was woken very early by last night's herbal laxative tea that had gone to work in my stomach.  Every felt like it was in knots but I felt better afterwards then I returned to bed for an extra hour of sleep.

I was woken by yet another bowel movement, so this time I had to get out of bed altogether.

I hurried to the kitchen for the sea salt cleanse before forgetting.  I made it less salty because last night's tasted awful but I'm thinking that I might not be doing it right, I'll have to mix a proper solution tomorrow.

After my shower I couldnt wait to mix my Lemonade 'shake', I had all my measurements and ingredients ready.  Every was ready in no time waiting to by enjoyed.

I read a few blogs of people who've been on the mastercleanse and they all had issues with the cayenne pepper, turns out that i do to so I'm going to decrease its measurement.

The morning wasnt bad at as I didnt have any bad cravings, it got a bit torturous when I got to class and everyone was cookies but i had to remind myself of the purpose of this cleanse.

It got a bit tough in the afternoon as the cravings for food became unbearable.. and it just got worse because I had to work hungry!

Was quite grumpy when i got home so i went to straight to sleep.. this thing's hard

T*

10 days - Mastercleanse, night before...

Night before...

The cleansing has started.  I gathered the last of ingredients today, cost me an arm and a leg but I think it'll be all worth it in the end.

So I have:

• maple syrup Grade B 
• mineral water,
• lemons, 
• cayenne pepper, 
• blackforest tea, 
• chai rooibos tea 
• and himalayan salt..

This is all that will make its way into my mouth for the next 10 days..

Its not only a journey of cleansing the body but also of cleansing the soul..

come with me..

i had to bid you farewell...

I came to see you at your grave on Saturday, September 4.

I spoke to you but you didn't answer, I hope you heard me.

You no longer have eyes to see me, ears to hear me, arms to hold me, hands to touch me, feet to walk with me and a heart to love me but I know you still have a soul and that soul still burns and it still breathes.

Because I stood at your grave and I felt you..

You towered over me as I told you that I've missed you.  Its almost a year since you left me but each day never forgets to remind me that you will never return.

I’ve learnt to smile again but not to love again.

I’m learning to be alone but its lonely.. sometimes I wish I had a brain tumor just so as I can hallucinate and imagine you still there, still have long chats with you, still laugh with you..

I’ve had to embrace the maturity that came with dealing with your death.. I’ve had to change.

I sat at your grave and I had no words except I love you… you will never cease to be a part of me.

I had to come bid you farewell because I cant keep living, hoping that you’ll reappear.  I need to break away from you so I can stand on my own again.  Open my eyes to another world of companionship, the possibility of marriage and maybe even children.. I need to find in someone else what I couldn’t fulfill with you.

I kneeled at your grave and I prayed for your soul.. I hope you’re well looked after wherever you are.

I came to your grave to say goodbye.. for the very last time.

Its a new dawn...

 A break into the new season ignites new hope, new dreams, new longings and new ambitions.

A new sky opens up to breathe new life into the lungs of creatures and trees that died during the dry and cold days of winter.  Layers are gradually being peeled off as the skin yearns to be kissed by the sun.  Indeed it marks a new life..

The 1^st of September 2010 felt as though the year has now only begun.  The pain that saturated every part of me flowed down from my hair along my spine around my waist down my legs onto my feet and out through my toes… yes, I feel lighter.

My soul has opened to a different light and to a cleansing that has been long overdue.  I hear God more clearly… my channel to Him is wide open and unhindered by the overbearing doubts that clouded His existence.

I see God… in the joy that consumes my heart and the smile that fills my face.

He speaks and tells me stories about a tomorrow that will be nothing like today.  He says I’m maturing and I’m becoming a woman.  He says my life is defined by the kingdom which He has created within me and lacks the superficiality that the world encompasses.  He says I have been beaten up to tell stories of experience and of goodness and of triumph.

It is a simple story of how a human being triumphs over adversaries.  It’s a story about darkness being the light that can lead you to a better place.

It is not about isolation, its about change and identifying the truth and embracing that which I am.

This is what I have seen, its my experience and this is what it has brought – I cannot turn and run.  Its me and its my life.