Blogging is definitely a luxury. Leisure time which I unfortunately haven't had since my mastercleanse blogging. I still haven't had any epiphanies but life just keep taking me into the dungeons. The darkness that I have yet experienced is indescribable and its beyond any sort of expression. But I came out of it, alive, again... this is hard.
Without going into any detail, I can safely proclaim that I've had to do a lot more introspection. At the point that I thought I was ready to move on, it was not the case. I put one foot out the door and quickly retreated into the safety my cocoon. I put one foot out into trouble, into loss, into sorrow and pure depression, utter pain. I kept thinking that maybe I'm not made for this life. People go through adversaries and they pull through and learn to walk again in the light. Oh dear God, whats the matter with me? Into what shape is God really planning to mould me into? Its been difficult.
The day's are slowly becoming friendlier. I can smile. I laugh sometimes. I dont want to take it too far just in case i fall again. This is a fragile time but its also a time that has showed me who God is and who I am. I'll never look back and think how careless I've been but I'll look back with the sense of knowing and embracing what has built me.
I'll be bent into different shapes until I become the perfect sculpture that God wants me to be...
Thato...
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